Wednesday, May 4, 2011

የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር


አንድ ሰርግ ውስጥ አንድ ሽማግሌ ሙሽሮቹን ሊመርቁ ቆሙና «አጣልቶ የሚያፋቅር፣ አጋጭቶ የሚያጣብቅ ፍቅር ይስጣችሁ» ብለው ሲመርቁ ሰማሁ፡፡ እስካሁን ብዙ ሠርግ ተገኝቼ ምርቃት ሰምቻለሁ እንዲህ ያለ ምርቃት ሰምቼ አላውቅም፡፡ ምን ማለታቸው ይሆን? እያልኩ በኅሊናዬ ሳብሰለስለው ቆየሁ፡፡ ­«አጣልቶ የሚያፋቅር፣ አጋጭቶ የሚያጣብቅ ፍቅር? ደጋግሜ አሰብኩት፡፡
ይህንን ሳወጣ እና ሳወርድ እንዳጋጣሚ ሽማግሌው ምርቃታቸውን ፈጽመው እኔ የነበርኩበት ጠረጲዛ መጡና ተቀመጡ፡፡ መጠየቅ አለብኝ አልኩና አንገቴን በጠረጲዛው ላይ ሰገግ አድርጌ
«ደኅና ዋሉ አባቴ» አልኳቸው፡፡
«ይመስገነው ደኅና ነኝ» አሉኝ፡፡
«ቅድም የመረቁት ምርቃት ሰምቼው ስለማላውቅ ገረመኝ» አልኩ ወሬ ለመወጠን ብዬ፡፡
«አንተ ብቻ አይደለህም ብዙዎች ይገርማቸዋል» አሉ ፈገግ ብለው፡፡
«ምን ማለትዎ ነው ግን»
«መጀመርያ አንድ ታሪክ ልንገርህ» አሉኝ ጃኖአቸውን ወደ ቀኝ መለስ እያደረጉ፡፡ እኔም ወንበር ቀየርኩና አጠገባቸው ተደላድዬ ተቀመጥኩ፡፡
«አንድ ጊዜ አንዲት እኅት ምክር ልትጠይቀኝ መጣች፡፡ እናም እንዲህ ስትል አጫወተችኝ፡፡ እኔ እና ባለቤቴ ከተጋባን ስምንት ዓመታችን ነው ሁለት ልጆችንም ወልደናል፡፡ የራሳችን ቤት እና መኪና አለን፡፡ ሁለታችንም የየራሳችን በቂ ደመወዝ የሚገኝበት ሥራ አለን፡፡
ይህንን ያህል ዓመት በትዳር ስንኖር ተጋጭተን ወይንም ተጣልተን አናውቅም፡፡ እንኳን ለመጣላት ለመፋቀረም ጊዜ አልነበረንም፡፡ ጭቅጨቅ፣ ንዝንዝ፣ በዚህ ወጣ፣ በዚህ ወረደ የሚባል ነገር በቤታችን ታይቶም ተሰምቶም አያውቅም፡፡ ጎረቤቶቻችን እና የሚያውቁን ሁሉ በኛ ይቀናሉ፡፡ እርሱን ምን የመሰለች ሚስት አለችህ ይሉታል፤ እኔንም ምን የመሰለ ባል አለሽ ይሉኛል፡፡
አንድ ጊዜ ጓደኛዬን ለማየት እና በዚያውም ለመዝናናት ብዬ ናይሮቢ ሄድኩ፡፡ ባለቤቴ ሥራ ስለነበረው አልሄደም፡፡ ጓደኛዬ ትዳር ከያዘች አምስት ዓመቷ ነው፡፡ ባለቤቷ በተባበሩት መንግሥታት ድርጅት ውስጥ ስለሚሠራ ነው ኬንያ የሄዱት፡፡ እነርሱ ቤት አንድ ሳምንት ተቀመጥኩ፡፡
ያን ጊዜ ታድያ የኔን ትዳር ትዳር መሆኑን ተጠራጠርኩት፡፡ ጓደኛዬ ባለቤቷን በስሙ አትጠራውም፤ እርሱም እንዲሁ፡፡ ደክሞት ከመጣ እግሩን ታጥባላች፣ እርሱም እንዲሁ፡፡ ምግብ ሲበሉ እንደተጎራረሱ ነው የሚጨርሱት፡፡ ልጆቹን፣ ቤቱን ሌላውንም አብረው ነው የሚያደርጉት፡፡
አንዳንድ ጊዜ በኃይል ይከራከራሉ፤ ሊደባደቡ ነው ብዬ ስፈራ ለጥቂት ጊዜ ይኳረፉና ግን መልሰው ይፋቀራሉ፡፡ አንድ ቀን ታድያ ጓደኛዬን «ለመሆኑ ተጣልታችሁ ታውቃላችሁ ስል ጠየቅኳት፡፡ «በጣም እንጂ እኛ መጣላትንም መፋቀርንም እናውቅበታለን፡፡ ተጣልተን ተጣልተን ወጥቶልናል፡፡ ከጠብ በኋላ የሚኖረን ፍቅር ሁልጊዜ ምነው በተጣላን ያሰኘኛል» አለችኝ፡፡ ከዚያም ወደራሴ ተመልሼ አሰብኩ፡፡
እኔ እና ባለቤቴ ተጣልተን አናውቅም፡፡ አያድርሰውና አንድ ቀን ብንጣላ እንዴት እንደ ምንታረቅ የምናውቅበት አይመስለኝም፡፡ ክፉን አርቅ አልኩ ለራሴ፡፡ ግን እኛ ተጠባብቀን ነው ወይስ ተፈቃቅረን ነው የምንኖረው ብዬም ራሴን ጠይቄዋለሁ፡፡ ሳስበው ግን በመጠባበቀ እንጂ በመነፋፈቅ የምንኖር አይመ ስለኝም፡፡ እናም ትዳሬን ጠላሁት» አለችኝ፡፡
ችግሯ ገብቶኛል፡፡ አንድ ጥያቄ ጠየቅኳት፡፡ «ላንቺ ፍቅር ማለት የጠብ አለመኖር ነው? ወይስ ጠብን ማሸነፍ? አልኳት፡፡ ቀና ብላ አየችኝ፡፡ አልመለሰችልኝም፡፡ ዝም ብላ አሰበች፡፡
«ለመሆኑ ለምን እንደማትጣሉ ታውቂያለሽ አልኳት፡፡
«ለምን ይመስልዎታል ብላ እኔኑ መልሳ ጠየቀችኝ፡፡
«የማትጣሉት ስለማትገናኙ ይመስለኛል፡፡ የት ተገናኝታችሁ፣ የት ተነጋግራችሁ፣ የት ተከራክራችሁ፣ የት ተቀራርባችሁ ትጣላላችሁ፡፡ መጋጨትኮ ከመቀራረብ የሚመጣ ነው፡፡ እናንተ ጠብን አይደለም ያሸነፋችሁት፤ ጠብን ነው የሸሻችሁት፡፡ አለመሞት እና ሞትን ማሸነፍ ይለያያል፡፡ አለመጣላትና ጠብን ማሸነፍም እንዲሁ፡፡
«ሐኪሞች ለምን ክትባት እንደሚወጉን ታውቂያለሽ አይደል፡፡ ክትባቱ የሚሠራው ከሞተ ቫይረስ ነው፡፡ ለምን? የተዳከመ ቫይረስ ወደ ሰውነታችን ሲገባ ሰውነታችን ጦርነት ተከፈተብኝ ብሎ ራሱን ያዘጋጃል፡፡ መድኃኒት ያመረታል፡፡ ራሱን በሽታ ለመከላከል ዝግጁ ያደርጋል ማለት ነው፡፡ ልምድ አዳበረ፤ በሽታውን እንዴት እንደ ሚያሸንፍ ኃይል እና ዐቅም ገንዘብ አደረገ ማለት ነው፡፡
ትዳርም ይኼ ክትባት ያስፈልገዋል፡፡ ወደፊት ከባዱ የትዳር ቫይረስ መጥቶ በበሽታ እናንተን ጠራርጎ ከመውሰዱ በፊት ደካማውን ቫይረስ መከተብ ያስፈልጋችኋል፡፡ ኃይል እና ዐቅም መፍጠር ያስፈልጋችኋል፡፡ ያልተከተበ ልጅ እና የተከተበ ልጅ ልዩነታቸው የሚታወቀው በሰላሙ ጊዜ አይደለም፡፡ ወረርሽኙ ሲገባ ነው፡፡ ያን ጊዜ ማን መቋቋም እንደሚችል ይታያል፡፡
ሁለታችሁም በየፊናችሁ ትውላላችሁ፡፡ ከዚያ ወደቤት ትገባላችሁ፡፡ ራት ትበላላችሁ፡፡ ይቀጥላል፡፡ ቤትም ውስጥ ብትሆኑ አንቺ ጓዳ ነሽ፤ እርሱም ቴሌቭዥን እያየ ነው፡፡ ልቅሶ ስትሄዱ እርሱ ከወንዶች ጋር ነው አንቺ ከሴቶች ጋር ነሽ፡፡ ዓመት በዓል ሲመጣ እርሱ በግ ይገዛል፣ አንቺ ዶሮ ትገዣለሽ፡፡ እርሱ በቱታ ጎምለል ጎምለል ይላል፤ አንቺ በሐበሻ ቀሚስ ጉድጉድ ትያለሽ፡፡ ይቀርባል ትበላላችሁ፡፡ በቃ፡፡
ወዳጄ የማይፈስ ውኃ ከድንጋይ ጋር አይጋጭም፡፡ የረጋ ውኃ ይሻግታል እንጂ ጭት የለበትም፡፡ ወንዝ ሆኖ ሲወርድ ግን አረኹ ገደሉ፣ ዐለቱ ቋጥኙ ይላተመዋል፡፡ ለመላተም አይሄድም፡፡ ሲሄድ ግን ይላተማል፡፡ ከመኖር ብዛት ታድያ ፈለግ ይሠራል፡፡ ከዚህ ብኋላ ኩልል ብሎ መፍሰስ ነው፡፡ እዚያ ደረጃ ለመድረስ ግን ስንት ትግል፣ ስንት ልትሚያ፣ ስንት ውጣ ውረድ አለ፡፡ ይኼ ሁሉ ወንዝ ማን ቦይ ቀድዶለት መሰለሽ የሚፈስሰው፡፡ በዘመናት እየታገለ በጠረገው መንገድ እኮ ነው እንዲህ አምሮ ሲፈስስ የምታይው፡፡
ትዳርም እንዲሁ ነው፡፡ እድገት ካለው፡፡ ሕይወት ካለው ይፈስሳል፡፡ ሲፈስስ ታድያ መላተም፣ መጋጨት ያጋጥማል፡፡ ይህ ግን እየተፈታ ይሄድና በኋላ የትዳር ፈለግ ይሠራል፡፡ ከዚያ በኋላ ኩልል እያለ መውረድ ነው፡፡ ፏፏቴ ይኖረዋል፡፡ ዳግላስ የሚወርድ ውኃ ይኖረዋል፡፡ ከዐለቱ ጋር ሲጋጭ ሕመም መሆኑ ቀርቶ ውበት ይሆነዋል፡፡
አንዳንዶቹኮ ከተጋቡ በኋላ ወንድም እና እኅት ብቻ ሆነዋል፡፡ አንዳንዶቹ ደግሞ አብሮ •¶ ¼room mate/ÝÝ ሌሎቹም አብሮ ሠሪ «ባለ አክሲዮን»፡፡ አንዳንዱ ባል ገንዘብ መስጠት አይቸግረውም፤ ሃሳብ መስጠት ግን አይሆንለትም፡፡ አንዳንዷ ሚስት ቤቷን ማስተዳደር አያቅታትም፤ ባሏን ማስተዳደር ግን አይሆንላትም፡፡ ብዙዎቹ «እኛኮ አንድ ነን» ብለው የሚፎክሩት ልዩነቶቻቸውን የሚያዩበት አጋጣሚ ስለሌላቸው ነው፡፡ መች ተወያይተው፣ መች ተከራክረው፣ መች ተገዳድረው ያውቃሉ፡፡
ሦስት ዓይነት ባል እና ሚስት አሉ፡፡ የሚገጥሙ፣ የሚገጥሙ የሚመስላቸው ግን የማይገጥሙ፤ ፈጽመው የማይገጥሙ፡፡ የሚገጥሙ ባል እና ሚስት እየተገዳደሩ፣ እየተጋጩ፣ እየተስማሙ፤ እየተቸገሩ፣ ችግር እየፈቱ፤ በሃሳብ እየተለያዩ፣ እየተቀራረቡ፤ እየተዋወቁ ሄደው በሂደት አንድ የሚሆኑ ናቸው፡፡
የሚገጥሙ የሚመስላቸው የማይገጥሙ የሚባሉት ደግሞ ሲታዩ የተስማሙ፣ የተፋቀሩ፣ አንድ የሆኑ፣ ጠብ እና ልዩነት የሌለባቸው የሚመስሉ፤ በውስጥ ግን የተከደኑ፣ በጊዜ የሚፈነዱ፣ ያልተዳሰሱ ቁስሎች ያሉባቸው ናቸው፡፡ እነዚህ በአማርኛ «ይጠጌ አይነኬ» ይባላሉ፡፡ በሂሳብ asymptote የሚባሉት ናቸው፡፡ የሚገጥሙ የሚመስላቸው፤ ሰውም ሲያያቸው የሚገጥሙ የሚመስሉ፤ በእውነታው ግን መቼም የማይገጥሙ ናቸው፡፡
ሦስተኛዎቹ ጎን ለጎን የሚሄዱ ናቸው፡፡ parallelÝÝ ምናቸውም የማይገጥም፡፡ አለመግጠማቸውም የሚታወቅ፡፡ ያልተፋቱት ለልጆቻቸው፣ ለሕግ ጉዳዮች፣ ለቤተሰቦቻቸው ሲሉ እንጂ በጋብቻ ውስጥ በፍቺ የሞኖሩ ናቸው፡፡
አሁን ልጄ ራሳችሁን እዩ፡፡ መጣላት ለጋብቻ አስፈላጊ ነው እያልኩሽ አይደለም፡፡ በትዳር ውስጥ መጋጨት ብቻውን የመጠላላት ምልክት እንዳልሆነ ሁሉ፣ አለመጋጨት ብቻውንም ግን የፍቅር ምልክት አይደለም ነው የምልሽ፡፡ ለመሆኑ ለመጣላት ጊዜ አላችሁ? አንድ ወንበር ላይ መቀመጥና አብሮ መቀመጥ፤ አንድ አልጋ ላይ መተኛትና አብሮ መተኛት፤ አንድ ቤት ውስጥ መኖርና አብሮ መኖርኮ ይለያያሉ፡፡»
ከዚህ ውይይታችን በኋላ ወደ ባልዋ ሄዳ ለትዳር ጊዜ ስለመስጠት፤ በልዩ ልዩ ጉዳዮች ላይ ስለመነጋገር፤ የቤት ሥራን ለሥራነቱ ብቻ ሳይሆን ለደስታ መፍጠርያነቱ አብሮ ስለ መሥራት ማንሣት ስትጀምር ነገር መጣ፡፡ ጭቅጭቅ ጀመርሽ ይላት ጀመር፡፡ የማይስማሙባቸው ነገሮች እየታወቁ መጡ፡፡
ይገርምሃል፡፡ በልቶ የማያውቅ ሰው ሲበላ እንደሚያመው ሁሉ፣ ተጋጭቶ የማያውቅ ሰው ሲጋጭ አያድርስብህ፡፡ አንድ ጋሪ ጠጠር በየቅንጣቱ ቢወረወር ከሚጎዳህ በላይ ጋሪውን እንደሞላ ቢደፋብህ የሚጎዳህ ይበልጣል፡፡ «ተጋጭተን አናውቅም» የሚሉ ሰዎችም ሲጋጩ እንደዚያው ነው፡፡
ለዚህ ነው «አጣልቶ የሚያፋቅር፣ አጋጭቶ የሚያጣብቅ ፍቅር ይስጣችሁ» ብዬ መመረቅ የጀመርኩት፡፡ ጠብን የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር፣ ጦርነትን የሚያሸንፍ ሰላም፣ ጨለማን የሚያሸንፍ ብርሃን ነው የሚያስፈልገን ብዬ፡፡
ጉልበት ስሜ ተነሣሁ፡፡

146 comments:

  1. Very good article as usual! I liked the pictures, too. Please, write more on marriage. It's also the due time to do that.

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    Replies
    1. great Ethiopian advice!

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    2. keep it up dani, it's great Ethiopian advice!

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  2. Hi, Dani, This also concern my life thank you long live

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  3. I like it Dani.
    I think this has to do with so many marriage in our society. My wife used to say to these type of people "if you are not quarrelling once a while you haven't get married yet."

    Some are physically separated from their partners and when they get started living together every thing will come as a surprise because it is as cumulated and they are used to it.

    Others are physically together but mentally separated due to lack of communications and other life factor.

    I think if we can learn to solve small things with discussion,it will be easy when big ones are coming.

    Eccl.

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  4. አለመሞት እና ሞትን ማሸነፍ ይለያያል፡፡ አለመጣላትና ጠብን ማሸነፍም እንዲሁ፡፡

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    Replies
    1. አለመሞት እና ሞትን ማሸነፍ ይለያያል፡፡ አለመጣላትና ጠብን ማሸነፍም እንዲሁ፡፡

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    2. አለመሞት እና ሞትን ማሸነፍ ይለያያል፡፡ አለመጣላትና ጠብን ማሸነፍም እንዲሁ፡፡

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  5. hi,dani this touch many of us thank you livelong

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  6. ጥሩ ምልከታ ዳንኤል :: ከዚህ በፊትም ስለትዳር ያቀረብካቸው ጽሑፎች በጣም አስተማሪ ናቸው:: በርታበት:: ባንድ ጥቅል አድርገህ (በተመሳሳይ ርዕስ ያሉ ጽሑፎችን) በመጽሐፍ መልክ ብታወጣቸው ብዙ አንባቢያን ማግኘት ስለሚቻል ጠቀሜታው የላቀ ይሆናል:: ይህ መጽሐፍ የቻልክ ያንን ሳታስብው ትቀራለህ ብየ አይደለም::

    "አሁን ልጄ ራሳችሁን እዩ፡፡ መጣላት ለጋብቻ አስፈላጊ ነው እያልኩሽ አይደለም፡፡ በትዳር ውስጥ መጋጨት ብቻውን የመጠላላት ምልክት እንዳልሆነ ሁሉ፣ አለመጋጨት ብቻውንም ግን የፍቅር ምልክት አይደለም ነው የምልሽ፡፡ ለመሆኑ ለመጣላት ጊዜ አላችሁ? አንድ ወንበር ላይ መቀመጥና አብሮ መቀመጥ፤ አንድ አልጋ ላይ መተኛትና አብሮ መተኛት፤ አንድ ቤት ውስጥ መኖርና አብሮ መኖርኮ ይለያያሉ፡፡"

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  7. EGZIABHER YISLGN

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  8. «አጣልቶ የሚያፋቅር፣ አጋጭቶ የሚያጣብቅ ፍቅር ይስጣችሁ» የሚገርም ምርቃት ነው፡፡
    ግን ዳኒ ምን አለ መሰለ አንደኛው ወገን በንግግር ውስጥ ምንም አይነት ግጭት ቢፈጠር ቶሎ የሚመለስ ከሆነ ነው እንጂ፤ በአንድ ጋሪ ላይ ያሉ ጥቃቅን ጠጠሮች አንድ በአንድ ሲወረወሩ እንደሚቀሉ ሁሉ፣ ነገር ግን ያንኑ የህል ደግሞ ለሚወረውረውም ለሚቀበለውም ወገን መሰለቻቸትን ያመጣል፣ ምክንያቱም አንድ በአንድ ነውና የሚወረወሩት ለሚወረውረው ሰው (ልማዱ ነው) የሚል ቅፅል ስም ያስከትልበታል ወይም ደግሞ ያቺ የውርወራ ጊዜ እንዳትነሳ በተቻለ መጠን አብሮ የመሆንን ነገር ማጥበብን ያመጣል፣ ባስ ካለ ደግሞ ጭርሱኑ መለያየትን ይፈጥራል፡፡

    ማሂ

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  9. ሳምራዊትMay 4, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    ዲን ዳንኤል ቃለህይወት ያሰማልን እኔና ባለቤቴ ከተጋባን ብዙ ጊዜ ሁኖናል ነገር ግን እጅግ በጣም የተራራቀ ጠባይ ነው ያለን ስማችን ብቻ ክርስቲያን ነው መመካከር የሚባል ነገር የለም የሚፈልገውን ካደረገ በኋላ ሪፖርት ለማድረግ ብቻ ነው እኔጋር የሚመጣው ባጠቃላይ መወያየት የሚባል ነገር አይፈልግም ሀሳብም ባቀርብ አይቀበለኝም በዚህ ምክንያት ለኑሮየ ገድ የለሽ እየሆንኩኝ ነው ባጠቃላይ የልጅቷ ህይወት ሙሉው የኔ ህይወት ነው አንባብያን ምን ትመክሩኛላችሁ

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    1. try to have discussion with your husband and invite the above article it is some what nice and smooth. May God help you.

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    2. for me the best solution is to do what u want to get from him. Lemisale I am planning to do this, what is your idea bileshe teyekiwu...ande or hulete adelem (yihe bahire yemetawu bande ken or 2 days aydelem) silezike you need to do this many times ... "buti" le sechu kelale new endateyegne... pls just try. Lelawu degemo betam harif neger ligabezeshe ...kalsemashew ye Diakon daniel yerasu sibket new ... "be fiker meshenef" min malet endehone bedenb yasereda...

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN2ohWRyoCI&feature=relmfu

      E/r kenante gar yihun

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    3. Invite these the above article and try to discuss on it.then after discussing the above article ask about your marriage status and continue discussing more.

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    4. Samerawit,
      First try to understand what he need. Always try to bring him in life discussions, home matters, work situations and life plans. Try to make your life plan together. Give attention what he does, give too much love, and then he will come to the discussion.Let God bless your life.

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  10. Nice percpection

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  11. "የሚገጥሙ የሚመስላቸው የማይገጥሙ የሚባሉት ደግሞ ሲታዩ የተስማሙ፣ የተፋቀሩ፣ አንድ የሆኑ፣ ጠብ እና ልዩነት የሌለባቸው የሚመስሉ፤ በውስጥ ግን የተከደኑ፣ በጊዜ የሚፈነዱ፣ ያልተዳሰሱ ቁስሎች ያሉባቸው ናቸው፡፡ እነዚህ በአማርኛ «ይጠጌ አይነኬ» ይባላሉ፡፡ በሂሳብ asymptote የሚባሉት ናቸው፡፡ የሚገጥሙ የሚመስላቸው፤ ሰውም ሲያያቸው የሚገጥሙ የሚመስሉ፤ በእውነታው ግን መቼም የማይገጥሙ ናቸው፡፡"

    ከላይ ያለው አንቀጽ ከጽሑፉ የተወሰደ ነው፡፡ የእኔን በትዳር የመኖር ፍላጎትና ያልተሳካውን ምኞቴን በትክክል ያስረዳ አንቀጽ ነው፡፡

    በወቅቱ ጓደኞቼ ከዚያም አልፎ ቤተሰቤ ተው አይሆንም አብራችሁ የምትበሩ ባለአንድ ቀለም አይደላችሁም ብለውን ነበር፡፡ ማን ሰምቶ “አወይ ፍቅር እውሩ...”ን እየኮመኮሙ የልቡናን አጥር ዘግቶ ምክር በየት በኩል ገብቶ፡፡

    የተባለው አልቀረም ብዙም አልቆየም፥ ከሦስት ወራት ቆይታ በኋላ “ይጠጌ አይነኬ” መሆናችንን ለመረዳት በቃሁ፡፡ ተመስገን ነው፡፡ ይሁንና የተጀመረውን ነገር በቀላሉ መተው ከባድ ነው ከሁሉም የሚከብደው ደግሞ መንፈሳዊ ሕይወትን የኑሮው መመሪያ ላደረገ ሰው ቶሎ መግባት ከባድ የሚሆነው ያህል ምናልባትም ከዚያ በላይ መውጣት ከዳሸን ተራራ በላይ ሩቅና ምጡቅ ነው፡፡

    በዚያ ላይ በፈቃደ እግዚአብሔር ቸርነት ላይ ያልተመሠረተ በትውውቅና በአብሮነት ስለኖሩ ብቻ በትዳርም ስምረት አለ ብሎ ለሚያስብ እንደ እኔ ዓይነቱ “ብልህ¡” ነገሮች ሁሉ የሚከብዱበት ይመስለኛል፡፡

    እናም ከሁለት ዓመት መንፏቀቅ በኋላ መለያየቱ እውን ሆነ፡፡ ተመስገን አልኩ፥ ምክንያቱም እኔም የእርሷ አዳም እርሷም የእኔ ሔዋን አልነበረችምና የተመሳቀለውን ተዛምዶ ሳይጠና በለጋው ቀጨነው፡፡ ታሪኩ ግን፣ በጎው አብሮነቱ ግን፣ አስደንጋጮቹ ተቃርኖዎች ግን እስከ ሕይወት ፍጻሜ አብረውኝ፥ አብረዋት መኖራቸው ሃቅ ነው፡፡

    እናም እህል ውሃዬን ጽዋዕ ተርታዬን አሳምረው የሚለው ጸሎት ቀላል አይመስለኝምና የየራሳችን አዳምና ሔዋን ለመፈለግ የዳንኤል ጽሑፍ አስተዋጽኦው ከፍ ያለ ነው፡፡

    ሰላም ለሁላችን አሜን

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  12. Nice article!!! Berta

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  13. አዬ ዳንኤል የልቤን ስለነገርከጘ ደነገጥኩ። በጣም ከማፈቅረው ሰው ለምን ተነጋገርን በሃሳብ ተለያየን በሚል እየተዋደድን ተለያየን አሁን ሁለታችንም በተለያየ ሂወት ውስጥ ሆነን "ሰላማዊ "ብለን በገመትነው መንገድ እየሄድነን ነው ። ሁል ጊዜ ግን ደስተጛ ነጘ ወይ ብዬ እራሴን መጠየቅ ግን እፈራለሁ ። ምክንያቱም መልሱን የማውቀው ይመስለጛል። አሁን ወደሁዋላ ለመመለስ ባስብ የ ብዙ ሰው ሂወት እንዳልነበረ ይሆናል ስለዚህ በዝምታ እየኖረኩ ነው ። የሚገርመው እርሱም ይሄን እንደሚያስብ አውቃለሁ ምክንያቱም ያኔ "ስንጨቃጨቅ" ማንነቱን አሳውቆጘ ነበር ።ለመረዳት ግን ሳልችል ጊዜው አለፈ አሁን ግን በዚህ ሁኔታ ለሚያልፉ እና እያለፉ ላሉ ታገሱ ይህ ቀን አለፎ ተጋጭታችሁ ትጣበቃለችሁ እላለሁ። የቅዱሳን አምላክ መልካሙን ይስጥልጘ።

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  14. as i am apart from my husband for a short period of time it gives me a lesson and to look things deep in to it. thanks !!! god bless ur marriage too.....

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    Replies
    1. one person likes this

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  15. አንተነህMay 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    <>
    ጸጋዉን ያብዛልህ ፤ እንኳን ለድል በአል አደረሰህ

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  16. nice one very good point!May God bless you and keep you safe!

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  17. Abebe M. BeyeneMay 6, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    Dear Daniel,

    This is a really wonderful advice that we ought to follow. Husband wife should discuss and argue to identify their differences. How on earth two minds perceive things similarly.We should consider we are nurtured from different angle. For this reason, one should perceive that discussion, tolerance, patience, listening, above all understanding are the pillar to the successful marriage. This will enable us to build unity in diversity.

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    Replies
    1. I like it,this is really wonderful advice that we ought to follow.thanks DANIE!!

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  18. egziabher yebarek

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  19. betam teru new bziwu ketel

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  20. ሀሳብህ ገብቶናልና ለኛም እንዲሁ ይሁንልን አሜን!!!!!!!

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  21. I like the commentary but I suggest a fouth marraige type.... that represent those who loves each other and almost always thinks in the same line and little room for quarrel.

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  22. I like this one

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  23. ዲያቆን ሃብታሙ ዘ ባህርዳር ፖሊMay 6, 2011 at 11:50 PM

    ጠብን የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር፣ ጦርነትን የሚያሸንፍ ሰላም፣ ጨለማን የሚያሸንፍ ብርሃን ፈጣሪያችን ለሁላችንም ይስጠን.
    Thank you Danie,
    ቃለህይወት ያሰማልን.

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  24. selome KE GermenMay 7, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Qale hiwoten yasemalen !!!! lastewalew betam betam temehert sechi new beteley betedar lalen sewoch ersachenen endnay yemiadereg new Tegawen yabezalek wendm Dani !!!!!!!!

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  25. The commentary is nice but there's a better choice. Who needs a quarrel? I don't mean it won't happen when you go the journey of relationship. but it's not what i should wish for. It's a matter to give a good care of when it happens. but I wish an honest, quarrel free, fight free, with dialogue and love. That's ma own.

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  26. Kale Hiwot Yasemalin
    Ameha Giyorgis DC

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  27. Danie,yes you are right. In conflict studies, scholars define conflict as an inevitable pronominal in human beings. They also argued that conflict is occurred when there is a relationships among human beings.if there is no relationship nothing is happened. The other misconception attitude of the people is considering conflict as an evil. However, conflict has both positive consequence to the peoples. The negative part which have led great destruction to the human beings are violent conflict but not conflict in general. Haileyesus Muluken, From Debremarkos University

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  28. ሕይዎት እንደ ትረካ simple ቢሆን እንዴት ጥሩ ነበር:: የዚህ ፁሁፍ ዋና ነጠብ እንዳለ ሆነ ነግሮች ግን በጣም ቀለል ያረጋቸውል:: ወደ እውነተኛው ዓለም ስንመጣ 3 ሳይሆን ከ 300 በላይ አይነት ትዳር ያለ ይመስለኛል:: ብዙ መሃል ቤቶች አሉ:: በእኔ እምነት በመጨቃጨቅ (በመከራከር) የሚፈቱ ችግሮች ብዙ ናቸው ብዬ አላስብም:: ብዙውቻቻን ካደግን በሁዋላ ብዙ አንለውጥም ስለዚህ መጋጨት ወደ ጥሩ ጎን ያመራል ብዬ ብዙም አላስብም:: መጠነኛ ትርጉም የለሽ ግጭቶች ካሆኑ በቀር::

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  29. thanks dani i like your perspective and i read all the articles of merriage and learnt alot!!

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  30. Thank you Dn. Dani true love is revealed any where
    Laek Eyesus

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  31. thanks dani kale hiwet yasemaln

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  32. Yes U R right, there are three types of family ሦስት ዓይነት ባል እና ሚስት አሉ፡፡ I am in one of them but I need to improve the my rank ....pls forward ur corner stone ideas I want to build my family.

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  33. but in my case my marriage has two phases till now for the last 6yrs.he says he used to have a hard time to live with me for the past 4-5yrs.for me those yrs were ideal married life inspite of financial and career problems. Now it is so hard for me to tolerate his aggressive and fluctuating mood...so i dont know what my next step is....

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  34. A relationship to last requires depth of character on at least one of the partners sakes, and usually both at some point. Now if you are the so called plain looking woman, the answer is yes, but you may have to do all the work in the relationship if this question characterizes your attitudes about your partner and the comparison of the two of you. Looks alone will certainly not get you all the way to end of the living arrangement.
    To be fair, my experience is that looks are one quality and probably not the most important quality.
    Forgiveness is a major quality for a lasting relationship, things happen that often require forgiveness. Your partner can let you down. Life itself can let you down, and without forgiveness of this let down, life can be very disappointing. There will be challenges that touch you in the most sensitives of ways. Being resilent maybe the most important quality for a long lasting relationship!

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  35. I Love it...keep up the good job ma dear.

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  36. Daniel kale Hiwot yasemalin
    Selamna Fikrun Endihum rediatum yabzalin

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  37. Ow Thank you Dani for sharing us such a corrective Life Advises. For Sure am going to use it in my real life, so Plz Keep it on..thank you again.

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  38. Yeah man, "PEACE IS NOT THE ABSCENCE OF WAR"

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  39. this is a good lesson for ma life thank you dn Daniel.

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  40. Dear Dn.Daniel,
    I really appreciate your dedication on this. Please compile all related articles in one/two books to have well accesses in the market for all human beings.

    Let God bless you for your hardworkings . ..
    Kalehiwote yasemalen

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  41. Please Keep up all the great work. it'a valuable lesson to anyone in general because life it self is pure challenge. it takes a lot out of us and until we achieve what we aimed for. Like the wise man said in the article, once the water is settled after all the up and down it's beautiful. My hunt also told me similar to these. She said, let me tell you me and my husband staying together for 25years no one was expecting us. We argue, and when it comes to the worst we might get in to fight too. But he is the person who can resist anything and the way he handle things makes me to learn a lot from him and life in general. We do not care argument for next day. We resolve and go to bed in peace no hurt feelings between us. One thing is marriage is a back yard plant and you need to nurture it.

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  42. የማይፈስ ውኃ ከድንጋይ ጋር አይጋጭም፡፡ የረጋ ውኃ ይሻግታል እንጂ ግጭት የለበትም፡፡ ወንዝ ሆኖ ሲወርድ ግን አረኹ ገደሉ፣ ዐለቱ ቋጥኙ ይላተመዋል፡፡ ለመላተም አይሄድም፡፡ ሲሄድ ግን ይላተማል፡፡ ከመኖር ብዛት ታድያ ፈለግ ይሠራል፡፡ ከዚህ ብኋላ ኩልል ብሎ መፍሰስ ነው፡፡ እዚያ ደረጃ ለመድረስ ግን ስንት ትግል፣ ስንት ልትሚያ፣ ስንት ውጣ ውረድ አለ፡፡ ይኼ ሁሉ ወንዝ ማን ቦይ ቀድዶለት መሰለሽ የሚፈስሰው፡፡ በዘመናት እየታገለ በጠረገው መንገድ እኮ ነው እንዲህ አምሮ ሲፈስስ የምታይው፡፡
    ትዳርም እንዲሁ ነው፡፡ እድገት ካለው፡፡ ሕይወት ካለው ይፈስሳል፡፡ ሲፈስስ ታድያ መላተም፣ መጋጨት ያጋጥማል፡፡ ይህ ግን እየተፈታ ይሄድና በኋላ የትዳር ፈለግ ይሠራል፡፡ ከዚያ በኋላ ኩልል እያለ መውረድ ነው፡፡ ፏፏቴ ይኖረዋል፡፡ ዳግላስ የሚወርድ ውኃ ይኖረዋል፡፡ ከዐለቱ ጋር ሲጋጭ ሕመም መሆኑ ቀርቶ ውበት ይሆነዋል፡፡
    ከላይ ያለው አንቀጽ ከጽሑፉ የተወሰደ ነው፡፡

    ብዙ ነገር ተምሬበታለሁ እግዚሐብኤር የሕይወት ዘመንህን ይባርክለህ!!! ብዙ ነገር ተምሬበታለሁ እግዚሐብኤር የሕይወት ዘመንህን ይባርክለህ!!!

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  43. O my GOD Dani God Bless you i think Amazing message transfer to all people

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  44. O MY GOD Dani GOD Bless you i think you transfer for all people great message

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  45. It's really amazing men...

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  46. It is really useful story to develop strong relationship. Thanks

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  47. i was so impressed ....i am starting to implement on my life.please keep your good work. Never give in and never give up!!!!God bless you Daniel.

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  48. GOOd article please write more on this article cos am on the way
    tebarek

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  49. I like too much your articles.They are short, simple & street forward for the target group. your point of view is amazing & typically Ethiopian. I appreciate your work man. GOD bless you!

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  50. very interesting,we learn more things from this history.I appreciate it.
    God bless you!!!

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  51. I can read my marriage what it looks like according to this article. It is really helpful.

    God's blessing be with u!

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  52. i have no words but i jst wanna say it really touches!!!

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  53. Hello Dn Daneil,

    I really amazed by your idea. It is quite interesting. Specially the way you present. This one is different because it is not a norm for our society to touch about our personal life.

    Having productive and peaceful family needs some scurfy. In my opinion discussion is good. But we have to be care full while we discuses otherwise it will direct to big quarrel.

    We suppose to think about our children also. A child from divorced family is not as treated normal as a child who has father and mother in our society. And also family love is not a simple thing.

    Thank you Dn. Daneil “egeziabehare yeagelglot zemenehen yebarek”

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  54. ዲን ዳንኤል ቃለህይወት ያሰማልን
    «አጣልቶ የሚያፋቅር፣ አጋጭቶ የሚያጣብቅ ፍቅር ይስጣችሁ» የሚገርም ምርቃት ነው፡፡

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  55. Egziabher fikrun abzito yistih. Egnam ke tsihfuh endnmar libonachinin yikfetlin

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  56. hi dani really i like ur analysis keep it up.

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  57. It is so much interesting and very helpful. It's application is not only for those already in a marriage relationship. It could be applicable to various issues of our life. I am not in any form of relationship right now. Yet, while reading it I sensed some application to my own life. I liked the the way the river is compared with other kinds of water bodies like lake or anything alike. There are times in life when we abstain from taking part in an important experience like marriage for fear of unpleasant side of it or divorce especially those us in the male side. In so doing we remain in the asymptotic side until a time which we never know.What I get from this wonderful piece of advice is that I should confront whatever it is and go through it and see where it will take me. I learnt to be like a "river" cause there will be some kind of outcome which is by-itself a worthy of experience.That is life!Alas! Thank you very much Daniel Kiberet for sharing us such insightful piece of writing!Thank you!

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  58. Torenet yelem malet selam ale malet aydelem,chekecheke ale maletem feker yelem malet adelem betam des yemil hasab new Daneil eyetawecheh astemari nachew egziabher yibarkeh.

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  59. Dani. I have no words. Simply God Bless You.

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  60. wow! this is what we need at this time, especially for Ethiopians.i really appreciate you! thank you!

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  61. በጣም በጣም አሪፍ

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  62. That is simply amazing! I can't even begin to imagine the amount of wisdom God has endowed you with. I believe God is feeding us with the most important food for our soul through you! May this long last! God bless you Dn. Daniel!

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  63. thinks dn.daniel. this article touch our life. please keep it up and save generation.

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  64. D/n Daniel writes marriage reality in artistic language and expression.
    To me this article is more important to the people (relatives,colleagues, friends and others) around the two spouses who enter and disturb the normal flow of the marriage.
    But it also a key for those who already married,aim to marry and believe in marriage.
    Thanks for the post.I'm a living witness of a marriage reality.

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  65. eventhough i did'nt married yet it is good lesson continue.

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  66. ለሁሉም ሰው የሚሆን ጥሩ ምክር ነው፡፡
    "ጠብን የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር፣ ጦርነትን የሚያሸንፍ ሰላም፣ ጨለማን የሚያሸንፍ ብርሃን ነው የሚያስፈልገን" ይስጠን!

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  67. ለሁሉም ሰው የሚሆን ጥሩ ምክር ነው፡፡
    "ጠብን የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር፣ ጦርነትን የሚያሸንፍ ሰላም፣ ጨለማን የሚያሸንፍ ብርሃን ነው የሚያስፈልገን" ይስጠን!

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  68. ለሁሉም ሰው የሚሆን ጥሩ ምክር ነው፡፡
    "ጠብን የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር፣ ጦርነትን የሚያሸንፍ ሰላም፣ ጨለማን የሚያሸንፍ ብርሃን ነው የሚያስፈልገን" ይስጠን!

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  69. source: u should indicate z source. i have read this story a year ago on addis admass newspaper n i don't think u were z one who wrote it. so don't present z work of others as urs.

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  70. In the middle of the night,i saw my self in the mirror.long life to u and ur family!

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  71. betam aref temeret new yagegnehut betam amesegenalew

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  72. betam new yemameseginew......minalibat bezi asitemari tsehuf sew yemihon yimesilegnal "ጠብን የሚያሸንፍ ፍቅር፣ ጦርነትን የሚያሸንፍ ሰላም፣ ጨለማን የሚያሸንፍ ብርሃን" lehulachinim yisiten

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  73. kegna befit yeneberu ye egeziabeher sewoch lemesale abrham ena sara sayetalu new yetekedese tedare yenorut lemefaker yegede metalat ayasefelegem ehe simeseleng felesefena new ena daniel bemen agebabe teredetehew new weyes yeabatoch merekat selehon endihu tekebelehew new

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    1. temehert yemisete akerarbe newe...

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  74. Thank you Dani for your advices.
    Can you write some thing on what is expected from a good wife and a good husband?

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  75. It is very great pls Dani if u have other story like this please post it!

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  76. it is very interesting and helpful for people who are with mairrageand out of marriage itmeans a person who wants to marry ,dani God blessyou

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  77. በጣም እውነት ነው፡፡

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  78. I appreciated denial.
    I read one of the comments who said, " My wife didn't respect me."
    -You may only respect other people. When you show her bitter life at home, she may feel what is going on in your live.
    -You probabily said, " I adviced you, but I couldn't change your perception like other people." The words that you use for counceling have to bulid your way of live.
    -In my opinion, you may not help your wife at all,takingcare of kids, laundery, shopping, preparing food, even for your kids.
    -You may be wating until their mom comes, and gives them lunch.
    -You may be a person who don't take and eat food from refrigerator the food that already prepared.
    -I think you are looking your wife like serevant, and you are a person who expected everything to be takecare of by your wife.
    -That's why she didn't respect you because you have two feature in your live you are bitter when you are at home, but you act like sweet person when you contact, and counseling different people. You are counseling, but your sweet words doesn't change your life. Therefore, goback and see yourselfs to have a very good Merriage live.
    God Bless Merriages!!! Thank you.

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  79. Dear Dany
    What's more than thank you

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  80. Dani yemegerme eyeta nw yaleh regem edmay yesetih

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  81. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Dani the great we wish u long life thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  82. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  83. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  84. አለመጋጨት ብቻውንም ግን የፍቅር ምልክት አይደለም ነው የምልሽ

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  85. Dani egzer yiibarkik yille ye hulum bet chigir sile hone egzer mastawalun yiis ten.

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  86. well!what can i say ohter than,egziabher yestelen and yanureh.you have no idea how much this issue in my life used to worry me,i even come close to losing my relationship cuz i was so afraid to get married with this kind of issue.thank you for sharing this; it was so helpfull

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  87. Hello Dn Dani,
    I really impressed with your writings which has to do with Ethiopians situations. you are now constructing people in very moralistic and ethical behaviors.
    We, Ethiopians are proud of you and your esteemed thought,view and perspective.
    May God and His mother, St marry be with YOU!

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    1. ወንድሜ የግል አመለካከቴን ወይም መረዳቴን ነካህብኝ ባትለኝ፡- እንዲህ ዓይነቱን ቡራኬ ከምን ይሆን የተማርከው? ወጉ የቤተክርስቲያናችን አይደለም ብዬ ስለማውቅ ነው፡፡ ይህን ማለቴም አንጢኒዲቁንማርያቆስ መሆኔ እንዳልሆነ እንድታውቅልኝ እፈልጋለሁ፡፡
      በትህተና፡፡

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  88. wendeme daniel egziabher bemengedeh hulu yemerah amen.beheyewote yeh new yemayebal cheger ale.gen endet adeerge bemister lenegereh?tebebegnaw amelak banet adero yenageren zend?lemekerebew sew enkuan endanamaker lesew aweretew cherash gud yaregunal belen feran.bedenegl sem enmatsenehalen endet enenegereh?

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  89. EGZIHABEHARE YAKIBRELIGN

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  90. Dani egziabher yibarkih. Tiru timihrt sitehinal bergit behiwot wist yemiyagatimw yeteleyaye new benigigir lemeftat gena sijemer bemanegawm guday tifategnetu be ene lay tewesino yegemeral wiyiyitu andi sew bicha yiminagerbet ena yandegnaw hasab yemaydemetbet hasab mestet sigemir wiyit yetebalew neger yimikoretbet aselchi hiwot getmogal

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  91. great work great idea. an amazing advice . God bless you all.

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  92. I am sad you did not give any advice for the people (like me ) who live in the third type of marriage. We ever I say something, my wife rejects it. We argue all the time, but we do not agree 99% of the time. I cook with her, I wash dishes with her, I make my own laundries, I clean the house, I am the source of 90% of our income, she is the one who spends 75% of the money. I am physically with her, but mentally separated - hopping God to give me at least 5 years of lone time. I am sure she has to something to say bad about me if she gets asked.

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  93. Abel kebede FrancisApril 3, 2013 at 11:19 AM

    Hi DAni,i'm the big fan of ur angle of thought.ur writting is always motivational for good deeds.i think u r doing great purpose in life.keep it up...may God bless u and ur works.

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  94. It is a good advice for those of us who are not married yet because we should see our relationship from this point and thank you and please write more on these kind of matters specially on how to choose your partner. Again Egezeabeher Yistelen.

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  95. thank you for the advice specially those who are not married because we should see our relationship from this point. again Egezeabehere Yistelen.

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  96. Ewnet new!!! E/R yagelgilot zemenihin yibarkew regim edme ena tena yisteh!!!

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  97. it's amazing, please Daniel, write more on Ethiopian history

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  98. endi ayinet asteway yabzaln edmehn yibarekew

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  99. theyko negeren kesru meredate...leleloch masawoke dese yelale!!
    E/R yesthlene...

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  100. u r so right!hope we all find that person who we not only fight with bt who we cld also b best of friends.

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  101. marriage isnt all about helpn ur spouse with watever they do even thos is the bigest part,bt also sharing and helpn on things conserning emotions feelings and ideas especially women to b listened,understood and feel cared for so make sure u understand he emotionally as u help her on the cooking and stuff

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  102. you are great man
    thank you

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  103. this is what most of our people missed( megachet memamarin yameltal)

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  104. Klae Hiwot Yasemaln

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  105. Though I come across this article very late after being posted, I am highly pleased to learn the very practical advice in marriage. Of course I has been one of your fans who appreciated your view including your theological teaching on stage starting from my University age. I have passed through the same situation as described in the article. If properly handled conflict and difference in opinion is a spic for life. However, we do need to understand the reason for our dialogue based on reasoning!!!! Hope to read more from you Dani!!!!May God bless you brother!!!! Ashenafi

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  106. Oh, Daniel ZeTana Dar,
    I knew your frequent articles lately. However, I have tried to read all as one book. I felt missing even though I covered the entire articles as a monotonous book.
    Anyways, I would like to urge you to rebind it as a book for those who couldn't access this through internet and didn't know that Daniel ZeTana Dar has already a blog.
    Praying for you and respect,
    Your friend ZeTana Dar.

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  107. Dani you are my hero. Mn yargal gen alseram kesostnochu honkulhna telyayen.edmiena tena emnalhuu berta

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  108. It is very nice advice for all. I have to prepared my self to run my feature life like that.

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  109. daneal enam gelbetehen besem desssss balgn!!!!!!!!

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  110. Daniel Lante negerochen yegelete amelak legngam endegeletelen emegnalew. Yemeegerem eyeta aleh!
    Enena guadegnaya tetaleten senegenagn gen befeker new selameta yemenelewawetew, yemenawera, yemeneteyayew, kesua gar 1 seat 1 dekeka yehonebegnal but still we are apart.thank you anyway

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  111. I appreciate the topic you raised Dani. I believe, there is no perfect marriage, coz marriage by itself is a combination of two different person having different attitudes. Obliviously there is an argument (whether positive or Negative). But the main thing is the way we arguing will matter and how we tried to solve the problems. In a relationship, if one of the partner undermine and disrespect the other, instead of colliding and stick together, it will colliding and break each other. In marriage respecting each other is an important thing. After respect, discussion will going smoothly. but if you don't respect someone, agreement is difficult. Anyways I do appreciate your articles, it is a good lesson for every body who got married and will be ready for marriage. Thanks

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  112. girum eyta new adnakih negn geta yibarkih

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  113. ይገርማል የኔ ህይወት በዚህ ፅሁፍ ዉስጥ አለ, እግዚያብሄር ይባርክህ

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  114. dani kalehywet yasemalen

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  115. danny sele tedar yemetesetew aseteyayet betame melkam new tebarek

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  116. tabrke dani..................edmhen enda mitusil yirzemlne

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